Know Your Boundaries

There are a number of known personality types, one of these types is known as a “People Pleaser”, typically a person who struggles to say No.

This type of trait, can cause a huge amount of inner conflict, as by saying Yes to everybody’s demands, means that little time can be given for their own self-care and needs.

What do I mean by Inner Conflict?

“Imagine 2 pieces of material rubbing together causing friction.
Friction causes energy, typically heat e.g. inflammation.
We may be totally unaware of this conflict, because over time it can become a habit.”

So it is really good to understand where your boundaries are, as you cannot expect other people to know, if you don’t know yourself!

A recent example for me, was leaving a job.

A contributing factor for me leaving, was that I was paired up with a lady whose negativity would sap the life out of me.

Before I left, she asked me about my leaving drinks, and I politely said, ‘oh its only a small do, with a few colleagues from a different department’.

The hint was very obvious, but she still asked ‘can I come?’

The easiest thing would have been to say yes, but as with most things, the most challenging route creates the most growth…. So I said ‘No’.

The point is that I knew my own personal boundary and acted upon it, yes it was more challenging in the short term, but nothing compared to if I would had said yes to please her, as I would have had to sit with that inner conflict for days.

Tips moving forward:

  1. Check in with yourself before you make a decision, take the time to ask yourself ‘is this something I want to do?’
  2. Spend time understanding your own personal boundaries, so that you can be confident and comfortable in what you will, and will not do.

Back to Basics

One of the greatest human inventions is the automobile.

This invention has allowed us to travel the world, to transport goods, to deliver aid and many other uses.

But with all of these great benefits, there are unfortunately, some negatives, such as when they stop working!

If you think of a Motorbike for example, if this was to malfunction, there really could be 101 differing diagnoses depending on the expert / mechanic you talk to …

Some diagnoses could be expensive, some could be time consuming and others may completely misdiagnose.

But ultimately, a petrol engine only needs three elements to function:

Fuel

Air

… and a spark

So if a Petrol engine is not running, it is really recommended that the basics are checked first, to prevent expense and potential prolonged pain of not having any transport.

This is also very true with regards to the human body, when experiencing any physical symptom, always go back to basics e.g.:

Sleep

Hydration / Nutrition

Emotion State

Of course, I am not saying do not seek medical help, but you could save yourself some time by investigating the quality of the above three areas of your life first.

Instant Back Pain Cure

INSTANT, FAST, QUICK, these are all words that are familiar to us in the modern day, as we have all built an expectancy to have our needs met in a very timely manner.

… And of course why should we not!

We have Fast Food, Instant Drinks, Fast Cars and Fast Technology. 

So why is it that Pain cannot be cured instantly?

Don’t get me wrong, medication can mask symptoms quickly and other treatments can ease them, but curing long term Back Pain instantly is an illusion. 

We have all been brain washed to believe that our health is controlled by external factors and that we can all be cured now!

This is all so understandable, as I too have seen the cleverly marketed Paracetamol ‘curing’ Pill for Back Pain and the 10 minute “AB device” advert between my “Only Fools and Horses” marathon. 

In my opinion, Health is an inside job, and so is the healing of Back Pain.

The moment you make the shift from looking externally to looking within, you will make progress and true recovery from your Back Pain.

Lee
www.gopaingo.com

3 ways to Stay In Pain

Number One – “Ignore the pain”:

Pain is always a message that something is wrong.

If everything is OK structurally with your body then there is something in your life that needs addressing.

However, what we tend to do is mask the message with Pain killers and carry on with life.

Of course there is a place for Pain Relief medication, but should it be part of your daily routine for the rest of your life?

I suggest, using Pain as a message from your unconscious that something in your life is not how you want it to be!

Number Two – “Keep doing the same thing”:

If you want a different result then you are going to have to take a different approach.

If you are in Chronic Pain then keep looking for different options / alternative therapies, until you find something that works for you.

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results” – Albeit Einstein

Number Three – “Put yourself last”:

This is a great way to stay in Pain!

Often we put others needs before our own.

But in reality to be in a good position to help others, we must first be well and healthy ourselves.

So invest in your health!

It is so easy to make excuses e.g. lack of time or money.

However, we are talking about our health, the most precious gift!

Everything is affected by health, so prioritise it above everything.

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live” – Jim Rohn

Tony Robbins Quote

Negative Thinking

Negative thoughts which keep going round and round in one’s mind are problematic, as it is well proven that the thoughts that we have affect our physiology.

For example:

A Negative thought can weaken the immune system, create tension in our muscles, creating pain, release toxins into our body and overall hinder and restricts our body from thriving.

However:

Positive thoughts strengthen our immune system, release happy hormones, speeds up recovery times from injury and illness and helps create a healthy and happy body.

This is helpful to know, but when we are caught up in negative thoughts, we are often unaware of it, until our body lets us know via a symptom or pain. So the first step is awareness, catch the thought! Most likely it is a repeat of something or a possibility of something happening, but that’s all that it is, a possibility.

There are a million other possibilities as well, and WE CAN choose which possibility to obsess about.

When we are in full flow of negative thoughts, they often feel like a vehicle going at a speed of 100mph, and just like a vehicle which has the momentum of 100mph, you have to slow it down before you can turn it around.

Once you have it at a standstill or a reasonable speed you can then choose the direction you wish to go.

So here’s a tip to deal with obsessive negative thoughts ……………………….

Step 1 – Awareness: Use tension/symptoms in your body as an indicator to become aware of thoughts, if you have good awareness, simply catch the thought.

Step 2 – Slow it down: Put the brakes on. The breath is a fantastic anchor, because it is always available. Focus on the breath; it helps to count after each outbreath e.g. up to 10.

Step 3 – Choose a new direction: What makes you happy? What is the best scenario which could happen? How do you want to be? Take some time building a new image as clear as you can.

Step 4 – Repeat step 1, 2, & 3, as often as you can. You are creating a new neuropathway in your brain which is going to positively affect your body.

I’ll leave you with a quote:

I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened

-Mark Twain

No-Negative-Thoughts