Know Your Boundaries

There are a number of known personality types, one of these types is known as a “People Pleaser”, typically a person who struggles to say No.

This type of trait, can cause a huge amount of inner conflict, as by saying Yes to everybody’s demands, means that little time can be given for their own self-care and needs.

What do I mean by Inner Conflict?

“Imagine 2 pieces of material rubbing together causing friction.
Friction causes energy, typically heat e.g. inflammation.
We may be totally unaware of this conflict, because over time it can become a habit.”

So it is really good to understand where your boundaries are, as you cannot expect other people to know, if you don’t know yourself!

A recent example for me, was leaving a job.

A contributing factor for me leaving, was that I was paired up with a lady whose negativity would sap the life out of me.

Before I left, she asked me about my leaving drinks, and I politely said, ‘oh its only a small do, with a few colleagues from a different department’.

The hint was very obvious, but she still asked ‘can I come?’

The easiest thing would have been to say yes, but as with most things, the most challenging route creates the most growth…. So I said ‘No’.

The point is that I knew my own personal boundary and acted upon it, yes it was more challenging in the short term, but nothing compared to if I would had said yes to please her, as I would have had to sit with that inner conflict for days.

Tips moving forward:

  1. Check in with yourself before you make a decision, take the time to ask yourself ‘is this something I want to do?’
  2. Spend time understanding your own personal boundaries, so that you can be confident and comfortable in what you will, and will not do.

Back to Basics

One of the greatest human inventions is the automobile.

This invention has allowed us to travel the world, to transport goods, to deliver aid and many other uses.

But with all of these great benefits, there are unfortunately, some negatives, such as when they stop working!

If you think of a Motorbike for example, if this was to malfunction, there really could be 101 differing diagnoses depending on the expert / mechanic you talk to …

Some diagnoses could be expensive, some could be time consuming and others may completely misdiagnose.

But ultimately, a petrol engine only needs three elements to function:

Fuel

Air

… and a spark

So if a Petrol engine is not running, it is really recommended that the basics are checked first, to prevent expense and potential prolonged pain of not having any transport.

This is also very true with regards to the human body, when experiencing any physical symptom, always go back to basics e.g.:

Sleep

Hydration / Nutrition

Emotion State

Of course, I am not saying do not seek medical help, but you could save yourself some time by investigating the quality of the above three areas of your life first.