Know Your Boundaries

There are a number of known personality types, one of these types is known as a “People Pleaser”, typically a person who struggles to say No.

This type of trait, can cause a huge amount of inner conflict, as by saying Yes to everybody’s demands, means that little time can be given for their own self-care and needs.

What do I mean by Inner Conflict?

“Imagine 2 pieces of material rubbing together causing friction.
Friction causes energy, typically heat e.g. inflammation.
We may be totally unaware of this conflict, because over time it can become a habit.”

So it is really good to understand where your boundaries are, as you cannot expect other people to know, if you don’t know yourself!

A recent example for me, was leaving a job.

A contributing factor for me leaving, was that I was paired up with a lady whose negativity would sap the life out of me.

Before I left, she asked me about my leaving drinks, and I politely said, ‘oh its only a small do, with a few colleagues from a different department’.

The hint was very obvious, but she still asked ‘can I come?’

The easiest thing would have been to say yes, but as with most things, the most challenging route creates the most growth…. So I said ‘No’.

The point is that I knew my own personal boundary and acted upon it, yes it was more challenging in the short term, but nothing compared to if I would had said yes to please her, as I would have had to sit with that inner conflict for days.

Tips moving forward:

  1. Check in with yourself before you make a decision, take the time to ask yourself ‘is this something I want to do?’
  2. Spend time understanding your own personal boundaries, so that you can be confident and comfortable in what you will, and will not do.

Health is Wealth

So often we can focus on what we don’t want in life:

“I don’t want to get ill”

“I don’t want this pain”

“I can’t afford to become unwell at the moment”

From this mindset we can easily focus and study the very thing that we don’t want, thinking that it is a productive thing to do.

For example:

– Have back pain and then start learning all about the structure of the back and back pain stories.

– Have stomach problems and then start focusing on all things stomach and digestion related.

However, what I suggest instead, is to study the very opposite, focusing on what you do want in life …..

Wealth instead of debt

Happiness instead of depression

Calmness instead of anxiety

Health instead of pain / illness

In my own personal study of health, I have found a tool that can be used to promote this healthy thinking, named JEM!

This is a real game changer and I suggest that you do it daily, for maximum benefit:

J  –  Journal – What this means is, write down your thoughts, then rip the paper up and throw it away.
The practice is clearing the clutter out of your mind, it’s better out than in, and doing it this way, allows you to be as brutally honest as you want, without any judgement.

E  – Exercise – This is an intimidating and boring word for a lot of people, so if it helps, use the word movement or activity instead.
Research tells us that we are more likely to stick with something if we enjoy it, so find something which moves your body and that you enjoy

M  – Meditate – This does not mean that you have to become a Buddhist monk, just work on a state of mindlessness.
A good way of doing that is to focus completely on your breath, the breath is always the present moment, so if we can anchor to the breath (now) we will stop ruminating on past events or on concerns about the future.

Check-In To 2017

At certain points in time, events or people can prompt us to reflect.

For me, like lots of other people, it is the coming to the end of a year and what a year 2016 has been.

2016 has been my first year as a Pain Relief Coach and I am feeling really privileged to have helped many clients who were victims of chronic pain to become pain free.

In addition, on a more personal note, I married in October.

As wonderful as the day was, it also primed up some family issues that provided me with an opportunity to face and resolve some old buried negative emotions.

I remember a month before my wedding experiencing some neck and shoulder pain and also the feeling of it dissolving once the day had arrived.

This pain provided me with great insight into the turbulence that life changes can bring and the importance of “checking in” with ourselves frequently.

The process of “checking in” is very simple, if you are experiencing pain or tension, then just ask yourself the following two questions:

1.What is going on right now or in the near future?

2.How do I feel about this?

Your answers to the above questions will provide you with insight into the potential source of your pain/tension.

With this knowledge you can then try and find a way to make this change more comfortable, which in turn will help you to reduce/resolve your pain.

Happy New Year from Go Pain Go!

Lee

www.gopaingo.com

What is Pain Relief Coaching?

As a Pain Relief Coach I work with people who are in Pain that is caused by emotional repression.

Typically, if I was to discuss the service that I offer to others, I receive 3 types of response.

The response received actually highlights more than just a person’s opinion; it also highlights their relationship with Pain.

Below I have tried to provide an overview of the common responses, where Phase 1 typically focuses on external solutions and Phase 3 is where Pain Relief Coaching could really help:

Phase 1
Rejection of the mind-body concept and some people can be quite offended that I have suggested that their pain may be generated by their unconscious mind.

This group continue to look for external solutions and take little responsibility for their health.

They are waiting to be fixed and they are disappointed when no long lasting progress is made.

Phase 2
An appreciation for the mind-body connection, and they even acknowledge that pain can be worsened by stress.

They can see it in other people, but their pain/symptom is different in some way and still seek an external cure.

Phase 3
Here there is a real shift from looking externally for a cure to looking internally for answers.

Sometimes people get to this phase by exhausting phase 1 & 2, maybe after trying every specialist and/or medication but still finding themselves in pain.

However, no matter how the person arrived here, this is where an empowering active responsibility in their health starts.

Support is still needed in their recovery, but true healing now begins.


If this blog has resonated with you in some way, then why not have a think about the questions below?

  • Are you currently in pain or do you have a reoccurring symptom?
  • From the Phases above, which one do you think you are currently in?
  • What support could you really do with now?
  • Do you have any inconsistencies that make you question your diagnosis?
  • Who could you reach out to, if you wanted to find out more about the mind-body connection?
  • How much of a priority is it to become pain free?

… Depending on your answers, Pain Relief Coaching could be your next needed step on the path to recovery from Pain.

If you would like to find out more about this service, then please contact me using the following link: http://www.gopaingo.com/special-offer/

back pain ipswich